his chef d'oeuvre

He found it a perfect scene in the movie of his life, his long autobiographic chef d'oeuvre. That scene of him fucking a white german guy with no expression of his face. Maybe there's a little bit of contempt and carelessness too. It captured a lot of the dynamics in sex with whites. His unwillingness, his contempt, and his feelings of oppression. That scene came to him as he caught up with his Arabo-phile Iranian friend as they were high on weed. It was a conversation that was started by the Arabo-phile's question regarding his plans for the night after he leaves. The Arabo-phile then followed up with asking if he had sex on his mind, and if so, would it be white. When he answered yes, or maybe or something, the friend responded that it's not a big deal. As long as he's also taking what he wants, while giving back nothing,, no attention, no effort, no planning. Only his body. And if so, he should make the best of it, for example getting them to buy beer or cigarettes on the road. 

It made him curious that if that would be a paramount scene of his autobiographical movie, what would come out with other sex with whites experiences. Is it going to include a section with more subtle, hard to capture experiences? Like the conversation with that white Aussie. 

The one who actually told him he should write more, as a form of practice, or discipline even, to write up something before he goes to bed. Which is mainly the reason he's writing now. What is it with whites urging him to write? Is it another way for them to feel good about themselves, because it will excuse them from the task of listening if we write our oppression stories. That they won't have to lend us their ears?

Well that conversation with that Aussie triggered new feelings and experiences. The experience you get with a  whitie who knows the language, the words, and the lexicon of racism. The kind who uses that awareness as a way of flirtation. A way of making you fall. To seduce. It worked, or at least he thinks it did. He wondered what would come out of that dynamic. It would put a mask on all the power dynamics, it will make them look as if they're gone, but in reality they are never gone. They may just wear smart makeup to hide the blemishes and the scars.