Can you hear me?

As if I need more trauma and pain. As if I was destined never to escape the chest-tightening thoughts. I went there because I thought it's the chance to immerse myself in sensual pleasure. I thought sensual pleasure could be my refuge from emotional ache.

You were out there enjoying yourself. Then, it wasn't very nice. The assholes were bullying you. It was nothing but sexual and physical harassment. And no it's not a cliche. Just because you're deaf and can't properly speak, this brings out the viciousness of others.

I always wondered what is it about vulnerability that brings out cruelty in people. I now firmly posit that vulnerable people bring out the worst in others. Vulnerable people can bring out monsters.

I saw those two boys at the metro one time. They were talking in sign language and they were cute. They were laughing in between the signs. It was beautiful watching them, but I started thinking of what's missing them. I always think of what deaf people miss out on. Yes, they're complete people. Maybe they need nothing. They're not disabled, we're the barriers. We prevent them from realizing their potential.

Back to you. You were being bullied. I was getting furious. I wanted to stop but didn't know what to do in order not to make the situation any worse for you. I found myself taking you by the hand and taking you to the other side of the room. I started kissing you. I don't usually kiss so passionately. What was it about you?

You pause and you tell me you love me. I tell you I love you too and then you tell me "you're just saying". Yes, I am just saying. How do you ever answer being told I love you!

It was an intimate encounter. I usually have little of those and don't really seek or cherish them. This one was nice though. We have a little chat. That part about Muslims and Christian melts my heart. Your talk of your fiancee and your job highlights the gap that we were bridging by virtue of conversation and intimacy.

You asked for my number. I was confused. How would we communicate on the phone? You said something about texting. I didn't mind anyway. You called me yesterday. I wasn't available, but you still thought of me. That's what matters. You thought of me, didn't you? Can you hear me?