Random

As he looked at my asshole before he pushes his dick in, I slightly shivered and felt warmer. I felt ready and open. I picked him up from the street, yes I did it. I had the guts. We stripped in front of each other to our underwear. We stared at each other for a moment, and then we embraced each other. When he was about to come, I told him to do it outside. He told me it was the best thing ever to have it inside. I couldn’t say no.

It was years ago when we first met. His slippers had just gone off. We spent the day together, and we ended up in my bed. We fucked and the next day, he and my friend fucked. He confessed his love to my friend a few days later. It was the flame of jealousy eating me up. Sexual jealousy. After all these years, he meets my friend again. They fuck. I know we can’t fuck anymore. I have changed. They fuck. I burn.

I was sweaty and sick. He knew I had sore throat. He was still willing to eat me. I felt ugly and redundant. I felt I was shrinking. Why can’t I respond to his beauty, I thought! He did all the right things. He even complimented my hairy feet. He took me to dinner and we talked everything including movies. We didn’t kiss goodbye but I know he wanted to. I still feel ugly.

Do I really want to fall? To surrender control? To be thrown on the pavement while passers-by crush me with their heavy shoes? I don’t feel I am there. Maybe I need to crush someone. Maybe I need a bit of acknowledgement. Maybe I need a touch of grace. Maybe I shouldn’t do anything at all. Maybe I should need nothing.

You’re a god of beauty. You look into my eyes and give me a hesitant smile. We unexpectedly meet at the party. We stare at each other across the big room. We talk and you tell me my feminism will make our women become whores. I fall to the trap and feel teased. You were bluffing, of course. You ask for my number. We hug and kiss goodbye. You are not there anymore. Where have you gone? Oh, it was me and you, standing at the doorsteps of happiness.