Betrayal

The body betrays. My body fails me when it refused to follow my commands, when I lose control and autonomy escapes me. I am home bound because of another serious attack by vicious bacteria. They seem to have invaded my throat and took over the region. I did not see the betrayal coming, only except for some mild soreness the night ahead. I was being preoccupied by apprehensive parents and worrying uncles, feuding friends and a rather spontaneous gentleman.

The night before betrayal, I surrendered control to the realm of sleep. Did I ever wake up the next day? I can't really recall a moment where I feel I Woke Up. Everything was hazy. It was fever.

The next couple of days are like a fuzzy dream now. Shivers, pain, forced cold showers, needles, vomiting, pills, escaping veins, patients, and an attempt to cleanse my throat using a speculum covered by antibacterial-soaked cotton. It resulted in significant improvement of my swallowing ability.

I must have looked like a savage in the following days. I haven't taken a shower since the betrayal. But I started thinking “how much attention did our ancestors give to hygiene anyway!”. I began to like my smelliness. It was primitive. It was comfortable, far more comfortable than functioning in the maddening world.

It felt good.