Death and Sex

It has been often written that our existence  is based on a mix between the desire to death, to be annihilated, to go extinct. And the desire for life represented in the libido, to have sex whether to enjoy it or also to reproduce and recreate life. Perhaps a certain balance is needed to preserve our emotional stability. But it's also possibly a lens through which we can analyze human behavior. 

If we look at the state of exiles through this lens, we can make new observations. If we begin by death, since it's the heaviest topic, we can immediately think of the recent Syrian refugee suicides, whether the ones who took place in Lebanon, Germany or elsewhere.  This cannot be dissociated from the layers of trauma caused in the home country, on the road, or the new state of exile. 

Looking at death from another angle, and particularly examining the state of burial rites practiced by Syrians in diaspora reveal a grim reality. Those who wish to bury their loved ones or relatives face several hurdles whether in europe where there are laws that restrict muslim burial rituals, whether through temporary grave rentals as in france or the obligation to use a cascade as in parts of germany. In Lebanon, turkey, Egypt and Jordan, Syrians face similar hurdles in relation to hostility from host communities, and the general financial exploitation of refugees. 

Apart from the legal and societal hurdles, the act of burying in diaspora carry heavy notions. It's a harsh reminder of the inbetween state. Would we still be here in the future? Should we smuggle the body from turkey to Syria so they can be buried in the homeland? So that we could visit their graves when we're back? Would we ever be back? Where would we die and where would we be buried? 

Looking at the more positive notion of desire to live, we can observe that escaping into exile is an act of life preservation. People flee because they want to survive and eventually to thrive, and because they want their children or loved ones to have a better future.

In exile, we see thriving artistic and cultural spaces, you see people experiencing new tribulations but also passions and are posed by major questions that stimulate the psyche. The new space enables many to express freedoms and enjoy encounters they would have had elsewhere. I'm particularly intrigued by the case of Antonio Suleiman, who's a Syrian who sought asylum in germany and starting making porn films. 

Of course porn is seen in different ways, and indeed there are problematic aspects to porn. And then again we're faced with many abolitions who believe that all sex work can naively be eliminated from the world. Porn tabs into human deepest selves and their most unseen. The sexual fantasies, memories, practices and exchanges we never divulge or disclose. It helps us connect, discover and access pleasure. 

Antonio Suliman is creating pleasure and is using his body to please, also as a way to earn income. He went on to say "Yes, I used my body. I used it to show that this body can make love, can have sex, and does not only exist in order to die." He speaks about the Syrian condition and the suffering faced at home and the racism faced in the exile. Indeed now the Syrian body is imagined as a dead or maimed body or a body carrying the threat terrorism. Suleiman changes that by inspiring desire and celebrating the body and its possibilities.