I
want to write about Paris. But this reminds me that I didn't write about
Durban. So I'm going to try and begin with that.
Durban Durban. I was so stressed out, as I'm
usually when I travel these days. It was a long fight to get there. I basically
got outed in the process.
The whole luggage thing destroyed the trip. I
was stressed about clothing and money the whole time. This took away from my
planning energy. I felt sapped.
But let's try to remember the good times.
Meeting the beautiful Moroccan, Tunisian and Lebanese friends was very heart
warming. I have to visit Morocco soon. I think it will replenish my energy and
full my desire to be in a country that gives me life.
That night I spend with Zak. That hot Armenian
guy. The guy that tried to hook me up from in front of the Frenchies hotel.
When I made friends with the Nigerian, and got hooked up by another just in
front of him. That whole police station incident. Dancing to the beats of
afrohouse while completely stoned. I think I even masturbated in the toilet. That
kiss with the trans guy. Making out with the beautiful woman. Grinding with the
south African girl at the bar. Evading sex with the frenchies. Having my feet
massaged at the positive lounge. Meeting the trans mama and her girls. Other
short endearing encounters during the conference. Bussy and the south African
young boy.
On a deeper level, some reflections arose.
Being there is a strong reminder of the privilege and protections we have
living here. As positives and otherwise. I remember being mad at not being able
to take the metro, and how that reminded me quickly of how spoiled I got.
The energy of being openly positive gave me the
impulse to disclose to two Berliner friends. Maybe it was the weed I smoked
though.
The off experiences with Bob and Sadiq made me
feel that being with a person of color is not everything. Maybe I am saying
that because of how I felt about Gianmarco and that I was trying to convince
myself that it can work. It's true that being with a nonwhite is not enough.
