Which is safer, to cruise for sex in public or to navigate the gay
scene?
You browse endless profiles on the internet and mobile applications
where each part of your body is thoroughly scrutinized before you're approved.
You go out with your gay friends to meet
other gay friends. You're anxious what impression you're making, and if the
hottie would choose you or your best friend to spend the night with. You run
into an ex date, ex fuck or ex boyfriend, and it stirs all sorts of emotional baggage.
Isn't that risk? Isn't that damaging and harmful? It's a nerve wrecking,
emotionally draining process.
There's safety within the risk of cruising. While cruising you don't have to deal with this. Your body is more
accepted and people are much less pickier. The focus is on pleasure and instant
gratification. An instantaneous agreement on mutual stimulation is developed.
You leave in silence without having to say anything, or you just say 'see you'
and move away in peace.
If the motive is to have sex and
fleeting intimacy, why would I choose the structures built by/for the gay
community? I'd rather cruise on the street, public transport and toilets.
We know it's dangerous. There's a
good reason why we keep doing it. It's emotionally safer and it's usually more
rewarding. We may get mugged, attacked or arrested, but we also feel unsafe
mingling around so-called comrades and potential mates.
